


"I recognize what you mean to me" - [Sebastian Stan - One shot ].

by A_Wolf



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom
Genre: A.Wölf, F/M, Tumblr: theartofimagining13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:43:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wolf/pseuds/A_Wolf
Summary: Based on: Imagine: A year after breaking up with Sebastian, your paths cross again at a coffee shop, and he sees you while you’re at the checkout counter but you don’t see him. It takes him a few seconds to recognize you because you look so different; even more beautiful and happier. All he can do is stare and take a walk down memory lane, wishing he could talk to you and hold you in his arms once more but he knows he can’t. He watches you leave, and for the rest of the day, he can’t think of anything else. A little after midnight, you wake up to a long email from him.





	

**Originally posted at** : [The Art of Imagining](http://theartofimagining13.tumblr.com/).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* * *

 

 _“And how are things going with Lily?”_ One of Sebastian’s friends asked, getting his attention.

A barista walked up to the three of them, and handed Sebastian his coffee. It wasn’t until she was gone that he blinked a few times and answered,

_“It’s… going. I guess”._

_“I thought you liked her”,_ his other friend said.

 _“Yeah…”_ Sebastian exhaled while avoiding eye contact and playing with the lid, _“she’s cute but… I just don’t know”._

_“Is this another case of ‘not enough’?”_

The man in question raised his eyebrows, ready to object but he was cut off.

_“Seriously, dude, it’s about time you moved on. Just ask her out”._

_“I will”._ Sebastian said pursing his lips.

* * *

The conversation finally changed which he was secretly thankful for, but destiny wanted to play a dangerous game with him, and a couple minutes later, Sebastian’s past walked into the coffee shop, in jeans, a sweater, and a leather jacket.

The woman took her gloves off and put them in her purse, glancing at the barista behind the counter.

 _“You wouldn’t be wearing that big smile of yours if you had to run errands in the cold. The heater here’s got you all flushed”,_ she said with a playful smile.

And as soon as Sebastian recognized her voice, time stopped. He could no longer hear his friends, they were just background noise, and he tried to locate her. Even when he did, he still couldn’t believe his eyes. His heart raced and he swallowed hard as the memories of their time together flooded his mind.

 _“What’s it gonna be this time?”_ The barista asked her with a chuckle, “ _Let me guess… the biggest cup of white chocolate mocha with soy milk and an extra shot. Am I right?”_

 _“You know me too well, John. It’s time to find a new coffee shop”,_ she said delving into her purse to pull her wallet out.

Sebastian stared, and subconsciously made a tight fist when he remembered how her charisma was the first thing about her that brought his heart to its knees, but as time went by and things changed, during their last few months together, it had sparked many fights when he mistook it for flirting instead.

His blue eyes were glued to her. She tucked her hair behind her ear, and suddenly he could remember the smell of it which made him bury his nose in it one too many times back in the day. Then the barista made her giggle, and he traveled back to the countless of times he had been the reason behind her chuckles and incontrollable laughter. And he smiled to himself but it faded in no time when he recalled that when their romance was on its deathbed, he had become the reason behind her tears instead.

Sebastian turned to his friends again but his mind was still leagues under a sea of memories. The two of them had been together for a few years, but enough time to make him think he’d marry her. Regardless, it all went wrong.

He glanced at her again when her cell phone rang, and she looked at the screen and bit her lip, sending a chill down Sebastian’s spine. It had triggered a different type of thoughts; the taste of her lips on his, the way she had gone down on him, how she loved to chew on his bottom lip, the many occasions on which he had covered her mouth with his hand when he was making her come in a place where they couldn’t be heard, the way her hips moved when she was on top of him, and the smell of her perfume when he buried his face in the crook of her neck when he was on top of her, coming.

The memory alone was so invigorating he brought his fingertips up to caress his lips.

He couldn’t lie to himself. He hadn’t completely moved on because she still held his heart in the palm of her hand.

 _“Don’t look at me”,_ he suddenly thought, wishing the contrary deep down, as she grabbed her cup and turned around to leave.

Without knowing, she obliged, and finally walked out. Sebastian couldn’t think about anything else for the rest of the day.

* * *

 _“I’ll be right back”,_ Sebastian announced to his friends while getting up from his stool at the bar counter.

He and his friends had gone drinking, egged on by him under false pretense. He just wanted to forget, but everything got worse.

He clumsily walked towards the exit, and pulled his cell phone out to make his friends think he’d just take a call outside. But as soon as he stood under the moonlight in the cold, his true purpose came to the surface; he taped a few options on the screen, and started writing an email.

* * *

After an evening out, dancing with friends, she had finally arrived home with a fun song still stuck in her head.

She took a relaxing bath and got ready for bed, only to be woken up at 2:40am, only 20 minutes after falling asleep, by the sound of a notification on her cell phone. She groaned and shut her eyes tighter as she fumbled for the device on her nightstand. She stared at the screen and her blood ran cold when she saw a name she hadn’t read nor said out loud in a year.

She sat up and began to read.

 

_“I’m not going to lie. I’m drunk. I was fine until I saw you today. God you’re so fucking beautiful. There you were ordering one of those expensive coffees you love so much, the same ones I became obsessed with thanks to you. And I realized that I’m an idiot, and that there will be no greater loss in my life… I lost my best friend and my girlfriend on the same day._

_I know you don’t want to talk to me and that’s okay I guess. I earned it. I wish you hadn’t shut me out but I know I have no right to ask for anything. You keep your promises. You always said you didn’t believe in staying friends with your ex and I never thought we would end, but you kept your word and left no trace. Only a day had gone by after we broke up and I already couldn’t find you. I texted you a few times and got no reply, no reply to the emails I sent either._

_You have no idea how much that fucking hurt but it only made me love you even more. I told you I always would, and I am a man of my word as well. You’re perfect. I would marry you in a second. Still. I always told you that._

_How dare you make me feel this way at this point? I was so fucking sure I was fine but then I saw you…_

_I don’t want to bother you. You seem very happy now and I can only assume that it happened as soon as I was out of the picture. I always wanted to be a part of your life but I fucked up, didn’t i? I made the mistake of thinking you would always be around. Now it’s too late and I recognize what you meant, still mean, and will always mean to me. I gotta make my peace with that, and I’ve tried to stay away but you ruined everything by looking the way you did today._

_It was so hard not to walk up to you, hold you once more and kiss you._

_I’m cursed. You’re unforgettable and irreplaceable, and I’m the biggest loser on the planet for letting you go so easily, not once but twice. It’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life._

_I don’t know why I’m doing this. I can’t get you out of my head and maybe it’s the alcohol but these things you deserve to know. It’s the least I can do._

_You don’t have to answer this. I wish you the best in life. You can count on me if you ever need anything, you know that._

_I didn’t lie. I fucking loved you, and I always will._

_~Sebastian.”_

She put the phone on the bed and ran her fingers through her hair with a long exhale. There were lots of mixed feelings.

Anger, because he had no right to message her after so long and disrupt her balance in such way.

Longing, because she was suddenly swimming in a pool of pleasant memories, and then sadness, since those memories of their last few months together weren’t good at all.

But lastly and most importantly, a great sense of satisfaction, because she had done nothing wrong. Because Sebastian had lost her and not the other way around. Because she was still in his mind, somehow still in control. And because just as she suspected and wished, he would never forget her.

She finally accepted the fact that there was no point in denying the past. Sebastian had been a part of her life, but they would have never worked. Their paths lead to different destinations. But she had moved on, long before him, and she was strong enough to smile at his written words and feel no aching need to reply.

This, at last, was farewell.


End file.
